A moment in time

I remember that it hurt… Being at school with out her, hurt. Simple things like where to sit in class, or walking into a lesson and looking around to see a familiar face, just wasn't the same. Obviously i get the looks of sympathy, which vary from a pitying glance across the hall to a sympathetic pat on the arm. I don't really know what to do with myself, do I smile or just nod in their directions? I've taken to not looking them in the eyes.. Not letting them know how I'm really feeling.

My breathe on the window fades as quickly as it appears blurring the persistant rain momentarily, giving me relief that i can't see that the universe is reflecting how I'm feeling. The clouds are a dull grey and merge at the horizon with the ugly brown of our sports fields; that lay below my window. The teacher is droning on in the background in a monotone that could easily send you to sleep. She doesn't ask me questions anymore, no one does, they probably think it will upset me. My parents keep telling me to be normal but how can i be normal if I'm treated like i could fall off the edge at any minute.

I'm not like her, i never was. But i always wish i could have been. she made everything so easy, so simple. I know if it had been the other way round she would be able to get on with her life. But I can't. It isn't like i don't want to.

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