Lettre de motivation en anglais

Sarah Burgaud

17, rue Franklin

44300 Nantes 

France

+33.6.26.92.38.19

+sarah.burgaud@gmail.com

Nathalie Laurent

12 avenue des Pyrénées 

44000 Nantes 

France 

PrincessNL@gmail.com 

19 March 2018

Subject: feedback concerning your cover letter 

Dear Nathalie, 

I hope you and your family are okay. I looked at your cover letter, sounds good but I think there are few simple things you could change about the structure and within your text, in order to be more consistent with what your recruiters expect. 

At first, I think the date must be below the receiver and above the subject. Indeed, you mustn’t forget to specify the subject of your letter! Concerning the structure, maybe you should organize your ideas in four paragraphs, and connected them with logical connectors. For instance, you could have the first paragraph to express your interest for the job, another to present yourself and your skills, one about what the brand could bring you and to show that you made some researches about the company. You could conclude with a closing sentence to thank them for considering your request.

Then, regarding the content, I think it’ll be easier for the company if you start with a sentence where you specify the job you are looking for, the dates and briefly who you are. And why don’t you change your email? It’s funny, but not very professional. Moreover, in English countries, I learnt that they used to sign and notice “Enc : my curriculum vitae for you perusal” at the end. Finally, I saw that there are several sentences that sound too French (say “resume” not “CV” or  “customers” rather than “clients”), and small syntax errors. I listed few of them (perfected*, its*, programs*) but don’t hesitate to reread yourself once or twice before sending your letter. Don’t forget to keep it formal, to punctuate, and to avoid contractions.

I think that I’ve examined your letter from all sides. Just, you mustn't denigrate yourself if you don’t want to look desperate, you shall prove that you're the right person for them! In any case, I hope you will get this job!! With my few advices, I don’t doubt about it! And what about your family, what’s up ? It's been so long since I've seen them!

Best regards,

Your friend, Sarah.

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