Poems and spleen

Poems and spleen

I feel like it’s all nothing I ever done

That really hurted you.

I made the same mistakes you did,

If we can call them mistakes

And still took all the blame for it.

I never blamed you

I don’t deserve to blame you anyway.

The only time I would’ve hurt you

was when you hurt me first

I just took the ball

the spikes and blood covered ball

and send it back to you

It was not my best response

I understand that

but I’m afraid of you

fear wants to be overtaken

and I guess it was a mistake

Again.

Looking at the window

not to far away

I imagine, just behind the closed doors

and the high towers

the sea, the ocean,

an horizon of endless nothingness

Beyond the clouds

Under the Water

Places we could never reach

with our fragile bodies

like glass falling on the ceiling

We are everything that is happening

in our world, in our species

in ourself.

Can a body turn into gold

Can our spirits turn into ghosts

When your soul sits on the top of the drawer

and you corpse buried under nature's body and soil

Slowly eaten away by what you are made from

Slowly forgotten away by the the one you once loved

If my body turned into gold

And my spirit turned into a ghost

Will I live forever ?

Will I reach immortality

by any means necessary.

What is this feeling upon my chest

heavy

sour

white

or black

This familiar feeling

This unwanted feeling

This feeling I wish would’ve gotten away

way sooner, wish would

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