Romantic Love

ROMANTIC LOVE IS A POOR BASIS FOR MARRIAGE

Thesis Statement

Romantic love does not lead to a happy marriage.

I. Introduction

A. Romantic love

B. Romantic love does not lead to a happy marriage (Thesis Statement)

II. Characteristics of Romantic Love towards marriage.

A. Romantic Love is just a strong physical attraction

1. Infatuation as sincere affection

2. Pitfall of Romantic Love

B. Romantic Love can lead to Broken Vow

1. Dishonest marriage

2. Frustration in Marriage

C. Romantic love is skill that can be developed.

III. Conclusion

Introduction

Mostly, people considered love as an emotion; a mental state that a rises spontaneously rather than through conscience effort. To others, love can be considered a choice, a conscience effort (Dobransky, 2007, p.29). Love is the most important thing in our lives. But wrongly, we reduce it to parental love or to romantic love. Regarding romantic love, one dictionary tells us that it “implies an emotion that has little relation to thing as they should be ideally or from one’s conception of them as formed by literature, art, dreams , or the like” (Branden,2008,p.19). Romantic love is for grown-ups: it is not for children. Literally, it is not for children and also in the psychological sense; not for those who, regardless of the age, still experience themselves as children (Branden, p.16).

The youth tends to overlook the fact that romantic love is not necessarily true affection. In fact, it is more likely to be selfish than unselfish, although the individual may not be aware of it himself, for the human “heart is deceitful above all things (Dobransky, 2007, p.54).

Controversy

Romantic love being based on the attraction that members of the opposite sex have for each other may be said to be a chemical reaction. That is due to the power of the sex hormones (Hirsh & Warlord, 2006, p. 34). They feel the romance and the sweetness of one’s partner. Once the couple started to base their relationship to romantic love they tend to exaggerated in a way they will plan to get married. Ideally, they may expect marriage to something that just happens. The couples expect to be carried along with the tide of things into a haven of intimacy. Just accidentally. Without difficulty, work, or thought (Gayares, 2011, p.225).

Issues today are that many marriages fail to bring happiness. According to Quilliam (n.d.), that it is no doubt in many instances because the pair had banked too much on romantic love. In other words, the dominating role of their coming together is the power of sex attraction. Thus, it will lead to the failure of the marriage. On the other hand, a happy marriage is entirely possible without romantic love and more people are getting married for other reasons rather than love now (Quilliam, p.98).

Statement of the Problem

Romantic love is a poor basis for marriage at early stage, if there is no stability, especially economically; fights and discussions suddenly transform into divorce, love in hate and the other person unbearable (Hirsch & Wardlow, 2006, p. 127). This could explain why most couple at some point in their relationship experience difficulties and moments of doubts. For some, the eventual decision is to separate.

This study aims to explain and prove the argument that romantic love does not lead to a happy marriage. This study also wants to answer the following questions:

1. Why Romantic Love is just a strong physical attraction?

2. How can romantic Love lead to broken vow?

3. How Romantic Love called a skill?

Significance of the Study

Though this study the researchers were able to prove that romantic love does not lead to a happy marriage. That romantic love is just a strong physical attraction, a way to a broken vow and it is a skill that can be developed. This study is very beneficial to those who are planning for a union because it may guide them for a better marriage. This study is also helpful to those divorced couple in order for them to determine or acknowledge that romantic love should not only be considered in a relationship.

Romantic Love being a physical attraction

It is infatuation that is blind. It sees only what it wants to see and so attributes virtues to one looking in virtue and unselfishness to one that is selfish (Hirsch & Wardlow, 2006, p.12). But before having an infatuation it starts with first impression, upon the first meeting of a person. First impression usually lasts, and goes a long way on directing the future of relationships. Appearances are basically important and most individual based their affection by the physical features of a person. This affection then leads to having a crush to someone. Where a crush is a burning desire to be with someone whom you find very attractive and extremely special. Thus, having a crush will turn into infatuation. And this infatuation is easily mistaken as love. Most people thought they are in love but actually they are just experiencing infatuation. The infatuation that the person feels will be considered as sincere affection.

Infatuation as sincere affection is commonly mistaken by majority. This sincere affection might lead to love. Someone may think about him/her nonstop, by that it makes someone’s heart beats faster, the feeling of excitement when the person is around and the longing when they are not around. But this is not sincere affection or love. Because when you have been with a person for a while you will notice that they are nowhere near as perfect as you thought they are then here comes the break up and infatuation fader. Actual love is quite different, love is when you may not feel strongly about somebody

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