A note before dying

A Note Before Dying

A mate once said “everyone has reasons for the sake of not being well”

Today I shall clarify mine

At the moments of shallow mind and thoughts everything is purely dark and meaningless

Every joyful moment is yet just another reason of blaming self and what made that self

The word “self” is relative in those dark yet colorful stances

The outside world expect me to dance at my birthday party

But, my depression drags me to its darkest circle

Today I shall clarify the state which leads to stateless life and being

The endurance of agony declares its independence  

It declares its limited power to composite the limitless of a monster

A monster who determines my poor self as it eternal dwelling

Today is a beautiful day that should be celebrated with joyfulness and happiness

Today, as all other days, is a point where myself hesitates between living or dying

December 5th is the day which society herby states as my birthday

Yet the swinging states of my domed mind declares it’s a day as all other days

Today I shall clarify to my fellows

That what you see is not always what it is

I may seem happy, determined, meaningful…..Alive

But, the individualized reality says the just the opposite of every life-filled adjective

Sometimes myself reaches a point where it doesn’t know itself

A point where seeking the inner truth is its highest priority

Yet Society blames me for the gloomy, lazy, mysterious behaviours

Which my domed self displays as a way to escape an ignorant reality

As a shield to protect its damaged being from a complete destruction

A destruction that is inevitably taking place sooner or later

...