Sleepover Assignment: Dating in Islam

Sleepover Assignment: Dating in Islam 

Dating is something that’s prevalent throughout the West, we see it in movies, songs related to it, and sometimes it occurs that we too want to go out on a date with someone and just ‘try’ it, experience the magic or whatever aura of romance. But the western culture is distant from the Islamic culture, so how should the Muslim youth find a way to get married without getting close to haram acts.

One of the ways of getting married as a young Muslim is to try and know the person you are attracted to without getting to close or even going to that person’s close ones to know more about him/her and know if they are right for you? And then the parents can discuss about giving your or her hand to a man with whom you should spend the rest of your life.

It is stressed in the religion of Islam that one should choose her/his spouse from a decent and noble family. Family nobility does not mean fame, wealth, or social status; rather it means modesty, chastity, purity, and religiousness, which will be all passed on to the next generations. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) has said in this regard: “Marry in the lap of a decent family, since the semen and the genes have effect”. He has also said to avoid the greenery (herbs) growing over a sewer (cesspool); i.e., a beautiful woman born and raised in an indecent family. Islam also lays special emphasis on compatibility in marriage. The marrying partners must be Kufw of each other; i.e., they should be equal and close to one another in terms of religiosity and morality, as well as social, financial and also physical aspects.

 Righteousness is also very important in a Muslim marriage. Piety will make a man treat his wife fairly and remember he’s accountable before Allah on her upkeep. It’s this virtue that will keep a woman humble and submissive to the will of her husband in order to please her Lord. If there’s one thing you shouldn’t compromise, then this is it. Two righteous spouse will most likely raise righteous offspring’s and build better communities.

There’s excellence in marrying a virgin as depicted in the famous hadith of Ja’bir bin Abdullah. This isn’t a condition for marriage but it comes with its virtues. Virgins are pure, mild and innocent. They have no experience so, it makes the marital sojourn adventurous. Besides, this isn’t just about breaking the hymen. It’s about chastity and piety. A person who wasn’t promiscuous before marriage is most likely not going to be there after. It’s also important to mention that this is a two way thing — men are also enjoined to guard their chastity, even if they have no gauge.

The sisters always complain that brothers are not caring enough. And this was a singular reason to turn down proposals. That I never phantom until I got married. Women often need genteel touch and kind words. When Allah created Adam, he gave him a companion not a smartphone. Part of the beauty of marriage is to see yourselves as best friend and confidant. No matter the age difference or background, you need someone who could make you smile. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ used to race with his wife Aisha. You should seek a man who is not only willing to satisfy his gut and canal. A good spouse will treat the better half with kindness and mercy. For marriage is a master-slave relationship and it swings either ways.

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